Do you know how everyone jokes that moms can find all things? Well, when my mom progressed with Alzheimer’s, my new role became finding the things–via telephone, in my apartment, an hour and a half away. Most instances of “inanimate object hide-and-seek” were relatively harmless. She’d misplace her phone, cooking supplies would be placed in the wrong location, or she couldn’t find a blanket because it would be on one of the bathroom doors; you know–the usual. But every once in a while, an item with some hefty value gets placed in a super-secret hiding place so special, so sacred, so secure, that even Sherlock Holmes would have difficulty detecting where it could be.
The Case of the Missing Rings
One Thursday afternoon in September 2020, my mom calls me flustered and a little frantic.
“Kristin!” she says.
“Mom what’s wrong, what happened, is everything okay?”
“I’ve lost my wedding rings.”
My mom’s training taught me well, and the wedding ring game of hide and seek began.
“Did you check in your bathroom? In the other bathroom? In this cupboard? Your nightstand? Next to your makeup? Did you check this drawer? How about that drawer? Try the junk drawer!
As my mind raced of all the safe places my mother would think to keep her prized possessions, she walked through the house, sometimes the wrong way (I’d say to look in the office and she’d walk the other way to the garage), to look in the destination I suggested. After a 45-minute phone conversation with no luck, I had to bring in reinforcements: my dad.
By this time, my dad was getting off work and heading home shortly. I called and explained the situation. His response, “Don’t work I’ll find them. . .I’ve had a lot of practice.”
With the lead investigator taking over, I anxiously awaited the results. And by the end of the night, nothing came–this was getting bad.
The next day my dad calls. “I haven’t found them,” he says. “I looked everywhere.”
As we discuss the chain of events and confirm that the rings can’t be far and are somewhere in the house a spot comes to my mind.
“Look in her jewelry box that is in the dresser; she moved it about a month ago. Top left drawer under all her clothes.”
“Okay, I’ll check,” my dad responded with doubt and obvious hesitation.
That night, I get a text message from my dad: “WE FOUND THE RINGS!” Right where I told him to look.
And just like that, my mom and my roles reverse, and I am now the finder of all the things.
Tell Me Your Role Reversal
As a caregiver I know these stories can be pretty common. What is the most important or valuable thing your loved one has misplaced? Does anyone want to share their tips? Comment below! I’d love to hear from you.